for real this time...

Surprise, surprise... it's been forever since I blogged. Honestly I decided to not blog for a while to really decide why I was blogging and why I was saying what I was saying. Was I saying truthful things? Was I being completely real and transparent as not to give the impression that I am better at something than I really am? Where I found danger was this daily/weekly/monthly journal could easily be turned into a "brag" instead of a blog. I didn't want this or facebook statuses, or what takes up my conversations to be how my kids are the smartest, funniest, best behaved, worst behaved, or cutest... or how my life was the busiest, hardest or easiest... or to even give impressions that I have it all together spiritually, mentally, physically, parentally, motherly, wifely, homemakerly etc. Im super competitive and found myself trying to compete with others blogs or craftily word my facebook status to say that I was somehow "more ______" than the next person, and quite truthfully, pride myself in that fact. (Disclaimer: I don't have anyone in mind as I write this!)

However, there have been so many things that have happened in the last year that I wish I had recorded my thoughts on. Not to long ago, I read my facebook note about Cole's fall, and also read through some of these old blog posts. So many things I had forgotten about! I cringe when I think about my kids graduation and weddings when they will be looking through old pics for their slide shows and will find that I was just too LAZY to record their lives! Kids change so fast and I am constantly being reminded by others of things like Cole's first sentence "Jesus, thank you for jets." Thought I could remember all this stuff. Its just happening.

Also, as stated in a post about a year ago, I need to remember the works the Lord has done in our lives. Of course the big ones from the year stand out, such as the Lord allowing us to keep raising Cole, burdening a brother and sister in Christ to give us a car and allowing us to get pregnant again, but what about the day to day? For example today when allowed us to spot one of our neighbors who recycles trash and had a nice little bike on his trailer for our boy who is outgrowing his tricycle and been asking for a new bike? How many things like this have I forgotten about? tons, Im sure.

So, here's to staring anew. Maybe I should change the name of my blog to "costons, unplugged" or "costons keepin it real". Thats the mission: to consistently record our lives in a Christ-exalting, truthful, unprideful way. Im steppin up to the plate, hoping I don't strike out. :)